Jake: 3 going on 15

So the other day my sister, Amy asked Jake, "are you 15?" He was quick to respond seriously, "no, I'm 3" but the point was he says these things and has these expressions that are very older-kid-like. Here's a few I can remember:

(In the car, out of the blue)..."Mommy, sometimes you use your hand or a wooden spoon to spank me but I think you should use my airplane"
me: why?
J: "because it's all hard and sharp and that would really really hurt"

(As I am about to spank him, he says in a very sweet voice, "Mommy, no matter how hard you spank me, I will still love you.(kiss)". By the way, this is NOT THE NORM!

His friend was about to come over and he said, "is she gonna be angry this time?"
me: what do you mean?
J: Sometimes she gets really angry and doesn't want me to talk to her but I think she just needs lots and lots of naps and then she won't be so angry

Jake is sliding down the slide at church with a probably 4 year old Andy, who says to him, "help! I'm dying!" to which Jake gets close to his face, smiles and says "You won't die! You're a people!"

Matt scolded Jake at the table this morning during breakfast and he had his pointer finger out. Before he could finish Jake grabbed his finger and said, "YOU..are CRAZY!" At which point Matt laughed and the lesson was over.

And the most classic but really embarassing:
the plumber was over fixing our kitchen sink clog and it stunk. Jake walks through the kitchen, viewing this man from behind, who's bent over and under the sink and Jake says, "something STINKS! It stinks like POOP! I think he has poop! Daddy, I think this man has poop! It stinks really really bad like poop in here!"
The sad thing is, the man never addressed Jake, laughed at the comment or anything, he just kept working.